Now that the kids are in school....

Why is this debate still going on? What is there still such a stigma attached to my choice? Why do I still get the question “now that the kids are both going to school are you going back to work?”

The question that flows from a bunch of “well meaning” individuals who are just “curious.” But I guess I really just want to add this to the (ever growing) list of questions you just don’t need to ask. You know that list of questions that people seem to feel are there right to ask of moms. “Don’t you think it is time to have another baby?” “Wouldn’t your husband really like a boy? “Are you to try again for a boy?” “Weren’t you really hoping for a boy?” “Your husband secretly really want a boy doesn’t he?”

Well yes, we have 2 girls, and are we going to “try for a boy?” well that is really NONE of your business in the end now is it? And I would also like to say that my husband is happy and feels blessed that we have the 2 children God gave us. Cause it wasn’t actually like I have the choice as to what gender our children were.

Just like there is a stigma that because we have girls and no boys that we should be trying for a boy, to “carry on the family name; there seems to be a stigma that because the kids are going to school (even if just barely) that I should be looking for a job. As if I haven’t had a job for the last 7 years.

As it turns out I feel I’ve had a job, and STILL have a job. Even though it is a job with none of the benefits of a paycheck, 401K, social security, medical, dental, vision, sick days, paid time off, quitting time, 40 hour work weeks, or weekends off, I still feel it is a job.

You may disagree with me and that’s fine. I’m not here to have the working mom vs. stay at home mom debate. I don’t care if you work, that is your business. I don’t think your kids will grow up feeling neglected, and your family will suffer because you work. I just don’t think any of that is true. It is different of course. But I grew up in a family with two working parents and I turned out fine (at least I think so).

But my husband and I decided when we had kids that we wanted someone home with the kids. We wanted to be the ones to care for our kids in the early years. We just didn’t want to miss that. So I quit my job as teacher to stay home with them. But now that both are in school even though the youngest one is only in school 2 mornings a week, people expect my job is done.

I disagree. I feel like my job only gets more important. I have less time with them, to influence them, to love on them, to encourage them, to give them confidence. I don’t think any mom disagrees with that because I think it is something all moms have in common. If you are working you want to spend the time you do have with your family enjoying them and being present. But I know the question remains. What will I (or do I) do with my “free” time?

I think that is what people are really “concerned” about. They want to know how I’m going to use my time. But I think that is why I just don’t understand how it is their business. I’m not a drain on society being a stay at home mom. We aren’t on public assistance, we pay all our own bills, we own our home, we have 2 cars, we have savings for emergencies and retirement, we ‘want’ for nothing. So what does it matter what I do with MY time. Or my families time as I like to think of it. Even though I am the only one home at the time it is what I do with my time will affect the rest of my family.

So… No. That is the answer to your question. Not that I think it is any of anyone’s business but the fact remains that the answer is no. No I’m not going back to work. I am staying at work at the home. I will continue to run the house, from home. I will continue to be the primary caregiver to our kids, help them with homework, take them to the bus and get them off when they get home. I will also continue to keep the house clean, dishes done and house organized (though that process gets easier to do without kids around all the time). I will also continue to try to grow my business from home.

My small sewing business does keep me occupied when I have too much “free” time, and right now I haven’t had enough time to put into it. But it is something I enjoy and is a way to help the family financially too; cause even though we don’t NEED the money who doesn’t enjoy a bit of extra cash at the same time.

So to all my at home moms, and working moms out there. I think we need to ignore the questions and just keep doing what we are doing and enjoy our families however they are configured. And for all of you out there wondering about the family dynamics of someone else’s family just ask yourself before, why do you really want to know? and is it really any of your business?

Project Purge: Office Eddition

After over a year I finally finished my last room my office. This room definitely took a back seat to other rooms because of the simple fact that it serves many purposes and is frequently needed by either me or guests and I didn't have time to tare it all apart to purge it. It also got put off because it is so easy to just close the door and not think about it.

My office, which until recently, serves and my guestroom as well is the last purge and it feels great. But also is a bit of let down (for now).

It's a let down because it looks worse now then it did before, and let me tell you why. When we moved into our house 6 and half years ago we quickly learned (as I think most people who buy a house on the older side) that the people who owned the house before us didn't always do things the right way. Some corners that were cut when the put the addition on (which is where my office is) really need to be addressed. We ran into issues when we refinished the other room in the addition and we know similar issues are in my office as well. So we decided that we would fix it now.

Here are a few pictures of what the office looked like before the purge.

 

 

So the office has been purged but lots of stuff has been moved into boxes and such in preparation for the remodel so it's not impressive.

But the piles of stuff I removed from the room I think are in fact impressive.

I kinda did my office in stages over a few days months and the first thing I did was my desk. I have had this desk since I was living with my parents, I think, like since high school some nearly 20 years ago. Some of the drawers haven't really been gone though in that time (even though I've moved the desk at least twice.

This is just some of the stuff I emptied out of the desk.

Here are some items I found in the deep dark corners of my desk drawers. Floppy Disks! Really! These are saved from High School and some from college. Do I really need to keep these things? I didn't think so. For those of you who don't know what these are, this isn't a history blog, you can goggle it.

 

This was all that went back into my desk.

This went in the trash.

 

The rest of the desk stuff got donated.

 

My next stop was my closet. I don't really have pictures of this but I did fill a whole trash bag with scrap fabric too small to do anything with. Another bag of fabric I'm donating because I just didn't have plans to use it or it was left over from other projects. 

I filled a bag with fabric I don't have a plan for using and a whole box of other things to donate. Similar results came from the shelve and the rolling cart I have. Lots of trash and many things to donate.

I can't believe how much trash I really ended up having in my office. Lots of things that a little over a year ago I think I would have never considered trash but now I realize it is. I removed about 3 large kitchen trash bags full of... well... trash (I didn't photograph that).

Now here is my office as it stands now. You may notice above my desk the reason for my office redo. My new TV that got mounted on the wall and needs an Ethernet cable and new outlet run. I think my husband got it mounted so quickly so that he could watch TV while he was working on my room. All those boxes near the closet are the essentials from my office so I can still work as needed during the project.

Look I do have one of my new curtains up already.

 

 

 

Like I said not impressive. But I can't wait till it's done.

 

I will post some new pictures of the office remodel very soon (I hope). It will probably take 2 weeks to get the rest of the work done. Not just the TV outlets, there is plenty more to do. We will remove the 'molding' around the ceiling and mud and tap (since that was never done prior to the molding), patch some holes from different things that were hung or mounted to the walls in the past. A new light fixture that will actually light the space not just create a funny yellow glow. New paint color and fresh coat on the ceiling and the baseboard trim. Lastly some new curtain rods so I can hang the new curtains I made.

Other Purges
Project Purge: Basement Edition
Project Purge: Kitchen Edition
Project Purge: Kids Room Edition
Project Purge: Master Bedroom Edition